Escaping Matters
Just for future reference, if you've already done this
tar xjf linux-source-2.6.15.tar.bz2 linux-source-2.6.15/Documentation/HOWTO
then this
tar xjf linux-source-2.6.15.tar.bz2 linux-source-2.6.15/Documentation/*
probably won't do what you expect.
This, however
tar xjf linux-source-2.6.15.tar.bz2 linux-source-2.6.15/Documentation/\*
will. Silly shell, that wild-card isn't for you!
Unrelated, I finished playing the brilliant video game, Psychonauts, tonight.
Very rewarding of the time and effort put into seeing it through to the closing cinematic.
posted at 22:19 PST (-0800)
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This is Not the Demographic You Are Looking For
I don't often get pitches from the company from which I lease mobile phone network coverage.
Which description, now that I've articulated it, seems kind of odd. I gave them money
originally, over the course of a one year contract, to amortize the cost of the phone I
use. So that was an actual purchase of an actual good. But then the contract expired
and now I'm month to month sending them a payment for services received.
Notably:
- routing data to my phone
- accepting data from my phone to their network and routing it to a next hop
It's a simple relationship.
Occasionally they suggest that they really don't know me. Like today.
Example A:
T-Mobile respects your privacy. To review our Privacy Policy, click below.
http://tmobile.r.delivery.net/r/r?2.1.HA.HY.1hYVz8.BwV%2ay2..N.CiSA.2ovW.DVWEWZY0
See that? Because they respect my privacy, I'm encouraged to click on a URL constructed to
encode my identity and the message which provoked me. That sounds like a good idea! Good thing
I use NoScript, Privoxy, and tor to get genuine respect for my privacy.
Too bad for me if I waive all that to click on your tricksy link!
What makes me think that URL encodes my identity rather than simply pointing at a generic
privacy document with a goofy URL scheme?
Example B:
If you've received this message in error, or if you prefer not to receive future e-mail messages from T-Mobile, click below.
http://tmobile.r.delivery.net/r/r?2.1.HA.HY.1hYVz8.BwV%2ay2..N.CiSC.2ovW.DVEKKZa0
Hey, that looks familiar! [Note that I've given these URLs a very mild shuffle to momentarily protect privacy while
still showing the suspicious form for people who weren't lucky enough to get this message.]
But those are both footnotes to the missive which caught my eye because suffix boilerplate often contains the
majority of the humor in email sent to sell me something. This message fortuitously had humor sprinkled throughout.
Humor of the "I assure you, there is no Thelma here" variety.
Example C:
INTRODUCING THE NEW NOKIA 5300 XPRESSMUSIC -- 240 TUNES(1) IN YOUR POCKET, 24/7.
That's the opening pitch. There are a few things I'd like to mention. The first is: do dedicated music players only
function on banker's hours? So now you've got a phone which also has music playing functionality and I'm expected to
be ALL! UPPER! CASE! excited because it works any hour of the day and any day of the week? Or is the claim here that
the player can run continuously for a week? I suppose 240 tunes playing over and over could be repetitive after a week
so let's see what that footnote says.
Example D:
(1) When using the features of this device, obey all laws and respect
the privacy and legitimate rights of others.
Capacity is based on 3:45 minutes per song, 128 kbps WMA encoding, and
192 kbps MP3 encoding.
Nothing there about battery life, but what's this? Respect the privacy and legitimate rights of others? My choice
of broken by design music encoding schemes? I'm glad this device could provide me with opportunities to break laws,
disrespect privacy and the rights of others and is the first positive thing I've seen about this phone. It's a little
sad that they couldn't even get off the starting block with this pitch without having to qualify their claims with
footnoting. If I understand marketing, they probably structured this to open with the strongest features of the device
and ... then had to buttress them because they couldn't stick to facts and make it sound sexy.
Maybe it gets more solid in the next paragraph.
Example E:
Get the new Nokia 5300 XpressMusic, exclusively from T-Mobile(R), and
listen to your best playlists any time, anywhere - just download them
from your computer to your phone. With music keys on the outside it's
easy to play, and you can load tons of tunes in a flash, even free ones:(2)
Oookay. Only my best playlists. I guess that's what I'd want to put into the almost certainly less than 240 slots
available to me because I won't have capacity to waste on rubbish playlists I won't want to hear. Any time, anywhere ...
so long as I have the foresight to anticipate what I'll want to listen to and download from my computer to my phone.
I'm guessing with a full flush and fill of songs, that's going to require a cable and a potentially long span with the
phone tethered down and unusable for anything else. That sounds like an exclusive offer I can do without.
Also: music keys on the outside is good. I hate when I have to unscrew a plate and disassemble my phone to skip the
current song. They maybe mean that I could control the music player without flipping open a flip phone. Which is a great
idea. Nothing I like more than being hip-checked into premature deafness.
Also also: WOW, I can even listen to FREE MUSIC?!?!?! What a deal! I had very nearly reconciled myself to only listening
to pay per listen music but now it turns that I have options. But wait. A footnote? Oh dear. Worse: it's a long one.
I'll chunk it up to accommodate my short attention span.
Example F:
(2) Limited time offers; all products, promotional items, services,
features, and pricing are subject to change without notice.
Translation: like everything we say, it's a lie meant to induce you to give us money. We make no
guarantees. We don't even tell you when we stop lying.
3 free song downloads available solely in conjunction with purchase of the
first 350,000 units of the above-depicted, music-enabled handset
device model, which is available solely at participating T-Mobile
locations while supplies last.
Translation: we know that you're a whore for 'free' stuff so we've set a cap of how many phones you can
buy to get your 'free' music and hey, maybe it'll turn out the place you buy your phone[s] will be
arbitrarily removed from our participation location list. HA-HA, joke's on you, for skipping the footnote
and waltzing into any old store and thinking that you could have something for free!
It does seem to me that 350k units is probably about right considering the only real market here is existing T-Mobile
customers [recipients of this email] who hate Apple, touchscreens, Apple's carrier partners or waiting. It may even
be too many. Perhaps they can bundle them with PS3s to really move that inventory.
Handset purchase requires new
activation and enrollment in a qualifying T-Mobile voice/data rate
plan under a minimum one-year service agreement.
Translation: GOTCHA!
3 free song downloads limited to then-available songs in the Yahoo! Music
Unlimited catalogue and subject to redemption rules and other terms
and conditions (including U.S. residency requirement) set forth at
music.yahoo.com/certificateredemption. You must redeem your
code for your 3 free downloads by 02/26/08.
Translation: in order to get your three songs you'll be signing up for Yahoo's music service, installing their
music player and since the phone isn't listed as a Yahoo! Music Unlimited 2 Go device, congratulations, you just
got three songs you can't listen to with this phone without violating the terms of your usage of Yahoo's music
service. Please don't read this small print, we need the money Yahoo! is giving us for this partnership.
And if it's T-Mobile who's paying Yahoo! on this one, well, congratulations, T-Mobile. You got 0wned.
Also, those songs are in WMA format and may well have time bomb DRM in them tied to the user being a subscriber
to the Yahoo! Music Unlimited service. I didn't feel like falling far enough down that rabbit hole to verify.
See T-Mobile's Devices, Pricing, and Services brochures, and see T-Mobile's Terms and
Conditions (including mandatory arbitration) and other relevant pages
at t-mobile.com, for T-Mobile rate plan information, charges for
various T-Mobile features/services/products, and other details.
Translation: because we obfuscate our costs, it's too complicated to explain here. Visit our site where our
dazzlingly presented pile of clunky icons and unresponsive interface will alternately baffle and frustrate you.
Then you will know our rate plan, not in the details, but in the intent.
Yahoo! and the Yahoo! Music logo are trademarks of Yahoo! Inc.
music.yahoo.com/certificateredemption:
http://tmobile.r.delivery.net/r/r?2.1.HA.HY.1hYVz8.BwV%2ay2..N.CiS6.2ovW.DUFEYZN0
t-mobile.com:
http://tmobile.r.delivery.net/r/r?2.1.HA.HY.1hYVz8.BwV%2ay2..N.CiS8.2ovW.DUMELZP0
Check it out, more identity and mailing bound redirecting URLs so they can footprint you going from this
message to Yahoo!'s site or theirs. In case you were wondering, the delivery.net domain appears to be associated
with Digital Impact, whose site [no link love for you] pitches PHP errors at me when I visit it. Haw-de-haw-haw.
And that was all of footnote 2. What else?
Example G:
- 1 GB memory card included - good for about 240 songs
- Preloaded music - 2 hits each by Paolo Nutini and Teddybears
I would hope that if changing out the memory card were an option they would mention it so I suspect this is
meant to be a no-user-modifiable-parts situation. Good thing nobody in the world owns a screwdriver or soldering
iron. Also: 2 hits each by WHO?
Example H:
And with a myFaves(SM) Plan, you can get unlimited nationwide calling
to 5 people, too.(3) Eligible T-Mobile customers can get a special
price for upgrading to a phone that plays music, too. Sounds good, huh?
If that price is not free, it's not very special. As for that 'Sounds good' pun, who do you people think you are, me?
Cut it out. The footnote referenced there is boring so I'm not going to drag it out into the light. But then we get
to the climax of the piece.
Example I:
What's cooler than listening to music from your phone? Doing it
wirelessly with a Bluetooth(R) stereo headset, easy to slip on and
off for sharing. And with Bluetooth wireless stereo speakers, you can
listen with a bunch of friends, whenever you want.
OHO! Look at them, inducing you to break the law by illegally sharing your music in a public performance!
You know what else is easy to slip on and off for sharing? YRMOM! For the three people out there who think
that listening to music from your phone is cool: sorry, no, it's not. It sounds awful, it means overloading
the user interface of the device, and adds unrelated fragility to a device which may serve a vital function
in emergency. There are probably other ways in which I'm not the demographic for a phone what can play the
wicked tunes, but the underlying problem is that that is a function I have never ever wanted in a phone.
I'd rather play music on my PDA than my phone. I'd rather bonk my skull with my phone and oif the chorus
than have the phone produce music.
The banal communication then goes on to exhort me to get a different text message package but screw that.
If I can't get streaming real time teledildonics pr0n from my text messaging package, forget about it.
Hey, if it could do that, I'd even spring for a headset which was, er, hands-free.
posted at 08:41 PST (-0800)
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